I would say I'm something like an ocean, covered with thick ice. It's not about the depth or mistery or any kind of inner beauty (the metophor IS beautiful, I like it, but it's not the case)
I'm incredibly unaware about my emotions caused by real events. There are some storms under the ice, real ones, but everything that happens happens undercover while my consience is walking on the surface, amazed by the silence.
The only way for me to come underwater and witness all the catastrophies, to make sure it's never been that quiet is... fiction storyes. I've always been addicted to something that could make me suffer from the pain I was hiding. It's like looking into the reflection of the reflection.
It's much easier to cry about drawn boy, with chainsaws popping out of his body, and his special connection to his demon dog than face the real pain.
The same goes with strong posotive emotions. Years go by and I'm sitting on the ice and questioning - what was was it? Did it happen? I catch that feeling much too late, when everyone who was experiencing that moment with me doesn't care anymore and don't get what am i talking about.
I'm standing in the middle of ice dessert asking - did you see it? There was a flashlight, amazing, never seen anything like this before. And they answer - what are you talking about? There had been a tiny sparkle, like 10 years ago, get over it.
But I can't. I see it now, now is first moment i see it so clearly. How can I give up on something as wonderful? I'm late, i'm always so late.
i guess now it's time to chamge the metaphor - this time it's not about the arctic, this time i/m something like a space traveller or a time traveller and i can't synchronize with the rest of the world. No. don't realy care about the world - can't synchronize with myself.
At this point I'm a space adventurer travelling with a light speed, stuck on empty icy planet, listening to the ocean (and the ocean, somehow is connectoed to my homeplanet). Hey, wait, Isn't it solaris?
I'm incredibly unaware about my emotions caused by real events. There are some storms under the ice, real ones, but everything that happens happens undercover while my consience is walking on the surface, amazed by the silence.
The only way for me to come underwater and witness all the catastrophies, to make sure it's never been that quiet is... fiction storyes. I've always been addicted to something that could make me suffer from the pain I was hiding. It's like looking into the reflection of the reflection.
It's much easier to cry about drawn boy, with chainsaws popping out of his body, and his special connection to his demon dog than face the real pain.
The same goes with strong posotive emotions. Years go by and I'm sitting on the ice and questioning - what was was it? Did it happen? I catch that feeling much too late, when everyone who was experiencing that moment with me doesn't care anymore and don't get what am i talking about.
I'm standing in the middle of ice dessert asking - did you see it? There was a flashlight, amazing, never seen anything like this before. And they answer - what are you talking about? There had been a tiny sparkle, like 10 years ago, get over it.
But I can't. I see it now, now is first moment i see it so clearly. How can I give up on something as wonderful? I'm late, i'm always so late.
i guess now it's time to chamge the metaphor - this time it's not about the arctic, this time i/m something like a space traveller or a time traveller and i can't synchronize with the rest of the world. No. don't realy care about the world - can't synchronize with myself.
At this point I'm a space adventurer travelling with a light speed, stuck on empty icy planet, listening to the ocean (and the ocean, somehow is connectoed to my homeplanet). Hey, wait, Isn't it solaris?